Dear fertility patient in the waiting room

Dear fertility patient in the waiting room

Dear fertility patient in the waiting room,

I’ve sat in that chair you’re sitting in with the same nervous but hopeful look. I feel the emotions you’re feeling and I hear the thoughts that you’re thinking.

I know you’re probably wondering why this is happening to you.

Why you were one of the chosen ones to suffer and deal with infertility. I know you’re probably questioning whether you’ll ever be a mama, whether you’ll ever get to experience the miracle of being pregnant and holding your baby in your arms.

I know you’re probably nervous about the injections that you need to give yourself daily. I’m not going to lie, they hurt. Some hurt for just a second, some leave a burning feeling for several minutes, but you’ll get through it. Just know they aren’t as bad you’re anticipating.

I know you’re probably overwhelmed by the cost of fertility treatments and you’re thinking how unfair it is that it costs so much. I know it probably seems like everyone around you is pregnant and that it feels like nobody understands what you are going through. But I do.

I know what it’s like to sit in that fertility clinic wondering what the future holds. Wonder how you are going to be able to afford treatment.

I know what it’s like to sit there and wonder why you just can’t get pregnant naturally. What it’s like to feel scared, lonely, heartbroken and shattered, while at the same time, feeling hopeful, optimistic and confident. I know these things, because not too long ago, that was me.

In some aspects, it’s still me.

If you’re lucky you’ll walk out of there and a couple weeks later, you’ll hear the words you’ve longed to hear. That you are finally pregnant and nine months later you’ll meet the most amazing person you’ve ever met. All the tears, needles, blood draws, and money will be worth it.

You may also walk out of there and a couple weeks later find out that your embryo didn’t stick. Or that it did stick, but you end up losing the baby. I’ve been there too. You may decide to try again, you may decide on a different path to parenthood or you may decide to end your journey to parenthood.

Whichever you decide, I see you, I feel for you and you are not alone.

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