I started my surrogacy journey in 2015 shortly after my own daughter was born. I knew I loved pregnancy and also that I wanted to help people experience the joy of having a baby. 7 years and 4 surrogate babies later, I had no idea how my life would be changed because of it. I get asked often what made me become a surrogate and my answer is simple; everyone deserves to have a family if they choose, and infertility shouldn’t prevent that. I believe that fertility treatments and third-party reproduction should be accessible, affordable, and reasonably attainable.
Over the last 7 years, I have done 7 embryo transfers resulting in 4 babies for 3 different families. I experienced two chemical pregnancies and a devastating miscarriage at 16 weeks with the first surrogate baby I carried. This loss was a catalyst into the work I do now as a therapist supporting those going through their own losses, specifically after fertility treatments.
While some parts of my story were heartbreaking and lonely, other parts brought so much happiness and joy. I will never forget the look on my Intended Mom’s face when she held her son for the first time. I watched her become a mother right before my very eyes! That mother now has two beautiful little boys, the youngest just about to turn 1. My second set of parents now have two children as well thanks to myself and another surrogate.
In 2019 I decided to continue my education and went back to school for my second degree. At the same time, I started my Instagram page @carried.with.love as a way to educate and inspire those around me by authentically documenting my own surrogate journey. Fast forward to 2021, I have opened my own private practice and now work as a virtual Fertility Therapist who supports individuals experiencing infertility, miscarriage, postpartum depression, and of course, surrogates and Intended Parents.
I have also had the opportunity to reach millions of people through my social media and hopefully help reduce the stigma around surrogacy and educate the general public about their family planning options. When we can come together and talk about the hard things, that is where we see progress. We have a long way to go but I imagine a world where Intended Parents don’t have to wait 2 years to find a surrogate. I imagine a world where surrogacy is safe, regulated, and fair for everyone involved. I imagine a world where growing your family via surrogacy isn’t seen as a taboo subject but just a variation of normal. And maybe having fertility treatments covered by insurance should be standard.
If there is one thing surrogacy taught me is that even if you don’t know exactly how things will turn out; keep going. Find support, be realistic with your expectations but allow room for possibilities. I certainly had no idea that making a choice to become a surrogate would bring so much meaning to my life and the fertility community I care so much about. I am currently matched for my 5th and final surrogacy for close friends of mine and am looking forward to documenting and sharing the journey one last time.
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Our struggle with infertility was a long difficult road but I would do it all again to have our daughter! Like most we tried for a year with no luck, contacted a doctor who then referred us to a clinic.
We are Matthew, Michael and Chloe and here’s our story. As a gay couple, our options for having a child were extremely limited.
In October 2015 I went off the pill, we were so excited for what could potentially come over the next year. January 2017 and still no pregnancy so I went to my doctor.