Mandy and Dave
Dave & Mandy’s Continuing Journey to Parenthood
In a narrator voice “When we last left our partners, they were about to use a donor vial they had acquired via East Coast Miracles for free (other than the annual storage fee to keep it on ice at the local clinic) from a couple who donated one they purchased from the US…”
At that point, we had been trying to get pregnant since July 2013, so, for about two years. We had an unmedicated insemination with that vial the day same sex marriage was legalized across the US by the Supreme Court. What a story to tell our child, I thought to myself. Two weeks later, after arriving back from our vacation to Montreal for Comiccon, my period arrived, right on cue. I figure I’d missed ovulation.
That ate a significant chunk out of the lifetime fertility allotment I get with my health insurance through work. We weren’t sure we could have financially afforded the cost or not at the time.
In August, we had a known willing donor (and I am so eternally grateful for a fiancé who was willing to consider this alternative path to parenthood with me), a very close friend of mine for decades, but it just didn’t feel right, and circumstances for him changed positively just after that, so it would have been really awkward anyway.
Days afterward, another known donor, a good friend at the time, helped us exactly once. He “ghosted” (vanished) after it didn’t take, when we asked him about trying again. We’re glad the first try didn’t work.
In November, we abandoned our dreams of moving to Montreal, a city we love so much, because the health minister stopped fertility treatment funding down to tax credits based on income. So we moved across town into a townhouse a co-worker was moving out of and had told us about.
Several days ago, another close donor friend helped us out.
There’s also another couple who have agreed to help us if needed. It’s awesome to have such willing friends, I’m so incredibly grateful.
We probably would be able to take a shot at IVF+ICSI (due to fiancé’s severely low sperm count), but we would end up going into debt again. Not to mention needles everywhere and literally up the wazoo!
We are getting married on July 4th! That’s our four year anniversary of becoming a couple, and he proposed on that day two years ago. So that will cost money. If this attempt doesn’t work, then we’ll put the known donor help on hiatus till after the wedding. Don’t want to be nauseated on my wedding day or honeymoon :)
That’s about it for now.
More 1 in 6 stories
When I was 16, I was told I would never be able to get pregnant. Just before I met my husband, a specialist told me that, while I could carry, I would need an egg donor.
July 18, 2009 was the happiest day of my life, the day I married my husband. It wasn’t until two years later that a harsh reality set in.
The idea of sharing our journey is terrifying to me, yet I have gained so much from hearing about other people’s journeys that I knew I needed to share ours.